Parents

As a parent, what can you do if your son/daughter self-injures?

Scratching, hitting, cutting or burning oneself are examples of non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI). Nearly 1 in 5 families with adolescents face it. However, only a small minority of parents know about it.

Background

Self-injury usually begins between ages 12 and 14. However, the prevalence increases with age, peaking during the second grade of secondary education. Overall, the prevalence of NSSI in Flemish school-aged adolescents between 12-18 years old is estimated to be around 18%. Overall, 10% report having self-injured in the past year.

Self-injury is equally common among girls and boys, although a difference in method is found. Girls are more likely to cut and scratch themselves, while boys are more likely to report methods such as burning and hitting.

Why do adolescents self-injure?

The peak of NSSI during adolescence can be explained by adolescents facing many physical, psychological and social changes. This causes a great deal of stress.

Most adolescents who self-injure have not been feeling well for some time and have strong emotions they can't cope with. They cannot express their emotions and close themselves off from the outside world.

Self-injury is then a way for young people to cope with stress or intense emotions. For example, youth who self-injure often feel calmer after the act of self-injury. Others use NSSI as a means to feel control, to punish themselves or to distract themselves from psychological pain through the physical pain. NSSI also often has a signaling function for those around them: "I'm really not doing well!". 

Recent research shows the following risk factors for NSSI: for example, trauma, life-altering events, loneliness, inadequate support from family and friends, problems at school and bullying.

What are the consequences?

The long-term consequences of NSSI are feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness. In addition, NSSI negatively affects the social environment: parents, friends, teachers may react emotionally when NSSI is discovered. Afterwards, any scars continue to remind young people of the difficult moments when they self-injured.

Self-injury is not a harmless behavior. For some youths, this is transient and they try it once or a few times. But for the majority, it poses a serious problem over time. For example, it increases the risk of suicidality up to 3 times.

It is therefore extremely important that these young people have the opportunity to talk about NSSI and seek help. One will then learn to deal differently with factors that can trigger NSSI (e.g. stressful situations) in order to break the negative spiral of NSSI.

What can those around you do?

NSSI is often kept secret, especially from family members. Below are possible signs of a young person not feeling well:

• More withdrawn, closed off, quieter than usual
• No longer participating in activities
• Mood swings: very happy one moment and sad the next
• Suddenly becoming angry or frustrated
• A recent life event (such as relationship breakup, death, etc.)
• More stress regarding schoolwork, although this was not the case before
• Unexplained scratches and wounds
• Covering parts of the body (for example: wearing long sleeves, or a series of bracelets during hot summer days)